Dawg Thawts - Episode 1

[bobdawg]

Jesus Christ the beginning of the game is always a clusterfuck. So the tribes got split, men vs. women. I had a suspicion that would happen, but I didn't voice it because I didn't want to look dumb in front of the predicition writers. By the way, isn't this supposed to be in Cyprus? Why are the tribe names Italian? Seems inconsistent. Just sayin.

Anyway, so if Mary makes the merge I get an idol. Well ... I don't give a shit about that right now. I can only worry about me right now. If I get an idol at merge: Great for me. If not: Whatev. Gonna have to trust in Mary a little bit because I am not sticking my neck out for her.

So I log onto AIM and hey! Ethan wants to start an alliance of me, him, Silas, Spencer, and Kass. But since Ethan is a schmuck, guess who has to organize that shit? That's right, the Dawgsta. Every single one of them was skeptical for good reason, but after personal one-on-ones with all of them, they're all on board. We're voting out Jim because he hasn't shown up at all. I'm also on good terms with Yul, and he's down with that plan as well. That's five votes; that's all we need. I have a sneaking suspicion that this doesn't spell the end for Jim, but it's not like he's in a position to do anything with an advantage he might get. I'll roll the dice. Ethan wants to have a final two deal with me. Yul wants to work with me. All of the members of this cut-rate bomb squad like me. I think I'm fine right now.

By the way, I know Cliff. I've played a game with him before and he's a total troll. Here's his MO:
1. Pick a black castaway
2. Make "Black people have big dicks" jokes until you get voted out
3. [Not found]

Seriously this dude is a total clown, and it is now my mission to make sure he makes it exactly NOWHERE in this game. I can probably buddy up to him a little bit to keep him neutralized, but I don't want this dude anywhere near my game. (Edit from the fuckin FUTURE: You'd be surprised how much more likable Cliff is when he's on your side and you're not thinking "How the fuck is this dude gonna beat me?")

Dawg out.

[bobdawg]

Julie messaged me to tell me that I'm her secret lover ... thing. I have NO idea why she would tell me that. We're not close. All this does is paint a target on her back if she makes the merge because I will be telling EVERYONE she has an idol if that's the case. Maybe if there's a tribe swap that puts us on the same tribe she could be valuable, but telling me this quickly this early was just dumb.

[bobdawg]

What's the "Luv Shack" Brandon?

[bobdawg]

So we traded Jim and Julie. Wow this is a huge development. Sorry if I'm not emoting too much, I must have used up all my emotions reacting to that earlier ...

Or maybe I just don't care because they're two inactive players who aren't long for this game either way. You decide.

The Luv Shack twist is the more intriguing reveal though. Spencer, JR, and me were talking and we're gonna try to rig the voting so that we rotate who gets to go. I volunteer Spencer for the first shift because I want to cover my tracks a little bit. As it stands right now, I think I'm on good terms with those two, Yul, Ethan, and Silas. Cliff will listen to whatever once we need him. If Julie has me as her golden bond, she'll probably want to work with me. I might be spread too thin, but it looks like EVERYONE is digging the Dawgsta right out the gate. Now just hold steady till the merge, then get blindsided for being a threat, and we can wrap this bitch up and go home.