STIFF CLIFF'S OPENING STATEMENT

[CLIFF Robinson]

 
ALRIGHT, SO BACK TO THE GAME...


I BELIEVE I PLAYED A GOOD GAME AND I COULD GO THROUGH AND TALK ABOUT EVERY MOVE I MADE AND EVERYTHING I WAS THINKING ABOUT..... BUT THAT WOULD BE BORING AS FUCK, AND WHO WANTS TO READ THAT?

SO BASICALLY ILL LEAVE THIS SHIT UP TO YOU, THE FINE UPSTANDING MOLESTATION VICTIMS THAT MAKE UP OUR JURY.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PERTAINING TO THE GAME, MY THOUGHT PROCESSES DURING THE GAME, WHAT I WAS WEARING AT ANY POINT DURING THE GAME, OR HOW MANY TIMES I MASTURBATED DURING THE ENDURANCE CHALLENGES IN THE GAME, I WOULD BE HAPPY TO ANSWER THEM. 

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PERTAINING TO HOW YOU SPECIFICALLY GOT ROBBED AND DESERVED TO BE HERE IN THE FINALS INSTEAD OF YUL OR MYSELF, HOW YOU WERE THE BEST PLAYER IN THE GAME, OR IF YOU WANT ME TO COMPARE ALL THE JURORS TO A ZOO ANIMAL SINGING A KATY PERRY SONG. THEN WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF. 


I FEEL LIKE IF PEOPLE ARE VOTING ON WHO PLAYED THE BEST GAME, I HAVE A FIGHTERS CHANCE AGAINST YUL. IF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DEMEAN THEMSELVES AND THE GAME AND ASK STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW THE GAME PLAYED OUT OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE GAME, I DONT NEED OR WANT YOUR VOTE.


AND IF I LOSE 9-0 BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO SING AND DANCE LIKE THE PUPPET YOU FEEL I SHOULD BE, AT LEAST I CAN MASTURBATE WITH A CLEAR CONSCIOUS BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. 



UNLIKE YUL, I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR ANYTHING I DID IN THIS GAME, ITS MY GAME AND I OWN THIS SHIT. IF YOU WANT TO VOTE FOR ME, THANK YOU, IF NOT, GO FUCK YOURSELF. 


THATS REALLY ALL I'VE GOT TO SAY, SO LETS SEE SOME QUESTIONS. IVE GOT A BIG BOX OF TISSUES AND A WHOLE BOTTLE OF LOTION READY TO GO. LETS GET DOWN AND DIRTY. 


STIFF CLIFF OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!



P.S. I PROBABLY FUCKED AT LEAST HALF OF YOUR MOTHERS



P.S.S AND A QUARTER OF YOUR FATHERS

[CLIFF Robinson]

BUMP FOR FUN

[rc]

Stiff Cliff, I typically find people who make sexual comments all the time annoying but for some reason I find you to be hilarious....inappropriate but funny.!the majority of the jury have made comments about how inactive you were throughout the game, I have not heard of any big moves orchestrated by you and I view you as a goat. Can you take 2 minutes away from masterbating and prove me wrong? Why do you deserve to win over Yul, a guy who spent countless hours interacting with all of us, lying to us to advance himself and IMO controlled the game. Why vote for you?

[CLIFF Robinson]

RC I APPRECIATE YOUR STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS AND RECOGNIZING HOW HILARIOUS I AM, I MAKE IT SEEM ALOT MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT IS.

I ADMIT THAT WHEN THE GAME STARTED I WASNT REALLY SURE HOW ACTIVE I REALLY WANTED TO BE. I WAS A LAST SECOND REPLACEMENT AND I HAD ALOT OF SHIT GOING ON IRL AND DIDN'T HAVE A TON OF TIME TO COMMIT TO A GAME.

I PRETTY MUCH MADE THE DECISION TO TRY TO HANG AROUND AS LONG AS I COULD AND JUST HAVE FUN AND TROLL AND SHIT. SO DAY 1 I MADE A 3 PERSON ALLIANCE WITH YUL AND SPENCER. WE CALLED OURSELVES THE CUNNILINGUISTS, TAKE A WILD GUESS WHO CAME UP WITH THAT NAME.

FROM THAT POINT I NEVER REALLY EVER TALKED WITH SPENCER BUT I DID MY BEST TO POP IN ON OCCASION JUST TO TRY TO BE FUNNY AND TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNEW I WAS STILL AROUND. I STAYED IN CONTACT WITH YUL ALMOST DAILY TO TRY TO MAKE SURE WE WERE STILL GOOD WITH THE F3 WITH SPENCER.

WHEN WE GOT TO F8 I REALIZED THAT ONCE MARY AND JEFRA WERE GONE THEN I WOULD PROBABLY BE NEXT SINCE I WASNT REALLY ADDING ANY VALUE TO THE DUDES OTHER THAN JUST COMIC RELIEF. I CAME TO THE REALIZATION THAT THE BEST MOVE FOR THE CUNNILINGUISTS WOULD BE FOR YUL, SPENCER, AND I TO JOIN UP WITH THE GIRLS AND TAKE OUT SILAS, ETHAN, AND BOB.

I MADE MY BEST ATTEMPT TO CONVINCE YUL TO COME ALONG WITH US, BUT HE FLAT OUT SHUT ME DOWN MULTIPLE TIMES. I THEN REALIZED THAT HE MUST NOT BE WORKING WITH SPENCER AND I IF HE WOULD REFUSE THE MOVE THAT WOULD GET HIM STRAIGHT TO THE F3.

SO WITH JEFRA HAVING THE DOUBLE VOTE, SPENCER, JEFRA, MARY AND MYSELF BLINDSIDED SILAS. SO THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MOVE I MADE IN THIS GAME. YES, IT WAS JEFRA'S DOUBLE VOTE THAT KEPT HER IN THE GAME, BUT I FACILITATED THE F4 ALLIANCE WITH SPENCER, MARY, JEFRA AND MYSELF... EVEN THOUGH IT ONLY LASTED TWO ROUNDS.

I THINK YUL WAS BASICALLY WORKING WITH EVERYONE AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER. I FEEL LIKE I PLAYED A CLEANER GAME THAN YUL (IRONICALLY ENOUGH) FOR WHATEVER THAT'S WORTH. I DID HAVE THE ONE BIG MOVE THAT COMPLETELY CHANGED THE GAME AND I WON THE HARDEST CHALLENGE IN THE GAME AT F3, AGAIN FOR WHATEVER THATS WORTH.

I THINK I HAVE A "SOLID" RESUME BUT ULTIMATELY ITS UP TO YOU TO DECIDE HOW YOURE GOING TO VOTE.

IF YOU HAVE ANY FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS OR ANYTHING THAT NEEDS CLARIFYING, ID BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ANSWER.

THANKS RC

[rc]

Thanks Cliff, I def don't think you are a goat anymore. I think your assessment of you place on the guys tribe was correct and you making that move with Jefra and Mary was brilliant and earned you your spot. Good luck!!